Perception of Self
In zazen, this morning, I found my mindfulness was being disturbed by a feeling of dissatisfaction at someone else that I knew. I was perceiving a dissatisfaction with their attitude towards me.
If ever I look at someone in this way and see shortcomings, I need to look within myself for those very shortcomings that I am seeing in another. For where am I getting such judgment if not from myself?
Watching others therefore, can be a way to learn about myself, because my perceptions are all part of me. When I realized this during my zazen, my focus went back strongly to my breathing, and I began to feel that I and my breathing were one for a while.
July 6th, 2009 at 10:56 am
Hi Derek, very interesting observations, and so, did you find where you have been judging yourself and change your mind about it?
July 6th, 2009 at 11:05 am
Yes, Anne, I nearly always find where and what I am judging when I have slipped into the ego. As a Zen practitioner though I can’t say that I change my mind, I just observe a judgement and allow it to evaporate it is more of a being thing, than a doing thing. Some things are harder than others. And I guess that the actions of some people make it a little more difficult.
Derek